Some of you may recall a piece I wrote last fall that was centered on my disgust for fish (the kind people ride, not catch). While my abhorrence has not subsided, I have chosen a new way to fight the good fight; by spearing them with a high-powered gun. No, I?m not going to stalk the lineup at Beacons and shoot some toad riding his $900 retro twin fin complete with the wooden fins that look like a dinner plate cut in half and abstract resin tint, I?m talking spearfishing!

Last Friday my friend and I went out of Oceanside Harbor at 5am loaded up with live bait, a bunch of fishing gear, and one ?K-Mart? special (That?s what a friend referred to it as) speargun.

As we were motoring out of the harbor, we saw three shark fins?most likely small makos or blues, a bunch of seals, birds, and tons of little baitfish (Don’t let your Hawaiian friends tell you the ocean is dead here!) . As we rolled up to the first kelp paddy we saw, a school of Dorado (Mahi Mahi if you?re in Hawaii or Tahiti) swim right under the boat. It was game on, or so we thought. We threw out our lines with anchovies hooked onto the end and waited?and waited?and waited.

What the f?k?

We could see our bait swimming right through the school of fish, but there were no takers.

?F?k this,? I thought to myself and hopped overboard with the speargun?and right into the school of Dorado. No less than thirty seconds passed before the school swam right at me. Seemingly unafraid, the fish swam right at me before making an abrupt turn about four feet from the tip of my gun.

?Too easy,? I thought as I pulled the trigger. The only problem was, I nailed one right below the dorsal fin but the damn spear bounced right off. To boot, the thing kept swimming right up to me, as if to mock my sorry ass.

Down but not out, we went to another kelp paddy where a party boat full of dudes from Santee were drinking beer and catching mackerel. Off the side again (and with my tip sharpened up nice and deadly), this time I wasn?t coming back empty-handed. Long story short, my friend and I both shot our first pelagic fish, right under the noses of the dudes in the cattle boat (they were a little pissed as we heard some rumblings coming from their direction).

Moral of the story, why clown around on an outdated surfboard that doesn?t allow you to rip when you can go shoot something to feed your neighborhood with?

Next up: I defend SUP?ing over the sleepy act of longboarding…